APRIL 1976

HIGH GEAR

Page 21

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Yer Fat Aunt Annie

UEEN ANNE'S LACE +

Sorry I missed you all last month. The flu is rampant! So, before you swallow when next you're out on a "date", remember...the Bug Moves In Strange Ways...

Believe it or not, someone actually spoke to me last Friday when I was making rounds between the Zanzibar and Twiggy's! And, for once, it wasn't one of Cleveland's Finest suggesting I, "move it, turkey". Instead, the spoken words are this month's Question about Drag Queens. The individual shyly inquired, "how would I go. about getting clothes to fit me if I did want to go out in drag?" And, suddenly, when I remembered some of the Salvation Army outfits I had seen on drags in Cleveland lately, it dawned on me that maybe I wasn't being put on after all. To someone who's done it for a while, it all seems so simple that it is hardly worth explaining. But I suppose there are some people who don't know.

Ok--here's all the secrets revealed. The two basic tools needed are a tape measure and a current copy of Sears' "BigBook" catalog. Or the equivalent JC Penny's. Measure your chest under what pitiful little boobies you may have (my apologies to all the girls on Premarin). Around your waist. And around your hips at the widest part (not the groin, dummy, you might be horny to start with and louse up all the measurements).

Now look at the center section of the catalog. You won't find a Bunny Girl there. But you will find a set of charts that tell you if your height. is so-and-so and your chest is so-and-so, etc....that your dress size is soand-so. It'll also suggest sizes for slacks, blouses, girdles and bras. Forget about the hip measurement--yours will be smaller than what is indicated. Pay attention to the CHEST as that'll be the most critical. Select the dress size closest to your chest measurement and figure that if you'll go shopping in a cheap store like Zayre's, you need that or the next largest. If

you go to a reputable department store, figure you need the size indicated.

Next, because you have a big chest and even more massive shoulders, stick to KNIT fabrics that have some stretch and give-or else you'll reach across the bar for a drink one night and split yourself right up the back. Fortunately for hulks like me, the ethnic mix of Cleveland leans toward BIG women so larger sizes are easier to get nere than other cities. So, if your measurements indicate a 42 or a 22 1/2...do not cry. Many stores carry these in large quantities.

IF you're smart, you'll figure on wearing a bra and girdle. (You'd be surprised how many queens aren't very smart.) Your bra size is the number which inIdicates your chest measure plus the letter that indicates your dreams--the higher the letter the bigger the boob. You dudes with 42 and larger chests ought to dream of a B letter bra or even a C if you're on the hefty side like me. It fits the rest of your stature. Your girdle size is your waist measurement less 2 to 4 inches, depending on how soft you are and how much of a masochist you are. Since girdles generally fit a behind that's 8" bigger than the waist, better lean toward a smaller waist and a "stretchier" girdle.

And if you want a panty girdle

to hoist up the basket and tuck it out of the way so's you can wear girl's pants (why I don't know), you'd better buy one that is a "long torso" model because there's more distance between your waist and your groin than a girl has (and I don't mean the part that sticks out). If you don't get a long torso job, it'll forever slide down and be uncomfortable as hell.

Ok--what about stockings? So, first, shave the fur off your legs. You might be surprised how nice they look--and how "unmanly", without all the fuzz! As for size, only height and weight count anymore. And L'Eggs are the best buy in town. Big Mothers take the Queensize (it's not an indication of your intended condition, dear--it's really a size).

And most people take the Tall. Fat legs take a dark color. Skinny ones take a light color. Same's true of dresses and skirts. Fatties take navy blues and dark tones; skinnies take whites, and light colors. But just for the helluva it...try a color that doesn't go with your size sometimes, it can have a startling effect like my hot pink mini dress on 6 feet and 200 lbs. No one ever forgets. No one.

What about shoes? You take the same size in women's as you do in men's--plus a half-size in length. Same width as always.

And if you're unlucky enough to have size 10 feet--try Lane Bryant. Their catalog always has very nice and serviceable shoes for about $9 a pair! And the catalog is free for the asking by writing Lane Bryant, 2300 Southeastern Blvd.. In-

dianapolis, Indiana. Even if your fanny isn't fat, chances are your feet are, so the catalog's a good thing to have.

WHERE TO BUY IT IN TOWN?

Any of the "discount stores" are a good bet. Value City is especially good for good buys at low prices if you don't mind wandering through the Ladies' Dept. by yourself. The large department stores are a good bet in the bargain basements. But for you shy ones (and for underthings that are a hassle anywhere for anybody because of potential fit problems until tried on) why not use the same catalog you found your sizes in?

A quick call to the Catalog Order desk and an anonymous pickup at the Catalog Counter a week later is all you need. And if it doesn't fit--take it back and exchange it. You'd be surprised how many men get stuck doing just that for their wives and loved ones anyway.

You'll need a wig, of course. And if you don't have a friend. who's a hairdresser--or a shoplifter-watch the department store special sales. For $20 you

can look like a Queen...only for Pete's Sake forget the thing about how blondes have more fun and get a color that matches your present hair--since it also matches your skin color.

OK--there you go. Dress and undies sizes from the catalog. Wig from the department store. Shoes from the catalog. Your coat's the same size as your dress. Blouse same size as your bra. Slip same as the blouse. Panties about size 6 and hope for the best. Slacks by your waist size and as interpreted by the catalog chart. And the rest is up to you. Shave twice. Match your makeup to your skin tones. Smile a lot. And if you're lucky, you won't get picked up by the Vice Squad on the Mall. If you do, open your handbag, whip out a copy of this column and holler, "The Devil Made Me Do It!.

Got a question? Send it to Yer Fat Aunt Annie, c/o High Gear and I'll either answer it or tell you where you can get a better

answer.

And, please--you gay businesses out there (or nongays who are understanding) drop us a line if you can help drag queens with their makeup, hair, clothing needs, etc. Our money is green the same as other people's...but some of us are kinda shy about going where we may not be wanted.

JOHN GIBBS, GAY LEADER, BEATEN BY PRISON GUARDS

Reprinted from Workers World NEW YORK, March. 14 -Homosexuals in jail must suffer all the anti-gay prejudices brought from outside society compounded by the brutality and violence used upon all prisoners by the prison authorities. John Gibbs, cofounder and chairman of the National Gay Coalition for Prisoners' Rights (NGCPR), has been subjected to the worst forms of abuse and repression since he bravely began to speak for the rights of gays in jail.

In 1973,, the co-founder and vice-chairman of the NGCPR was murdered in Leavenworth Federal Prison, the victim of a set-up by prison officials. Since. then, Gibbs has been repeatedly beaten by prison guards, and he fears that he too might be murdered for demanding an end to the oppression of gay men and women behind bars.

In 1975 Gibbs was placed in the Behavior Modification Program in Marion Federal Penitentiary. This program is really a chamber of horrors devised to break the most political and most struggle-minded prisoners brought there from jails all over the country. Behavior modifica-. tion is also used to "correct sexual deviation" in one of the most hair-raising and vile ways

to oppress gay people.

Gibbs' treatment at Marion has been so abusive that other prisoners in the Behavior Modification Program have written to this paper asking us to publicize John Gibbs' plight. The following is a recent letter from Gibbs.

"I am contacting you as the pretrial hearings on my first case against certain prison officials that I filed in October 1975 are coming up. I am suing for $500,000 and for my release as I was placed in jeopardy, promised parole, assaulted by officials, beaten, and injured-all due to my being chairman of the

NGCPR.

"Assault charges against five more officers (Lt. Shields, Mr. Laswell, Mr. Todter, Mr. Boye, and Mr. Willcott) who beat me on January 13, will be heard also, as summons were issued last month and 12 witnesses on my behalf will be presented. The actions are going to be helpful to all gay prisoners in halting the abuse and torture of gay prisoners.

"My attorney is Freddy L. Shapiro, 1006 Walnut St., Murphysboro, III. 62966. Any support letters can be sent to him. Letters of protest can be sent to Judge James Foreman, U.S.

ALPINE

District Court of East St. Louis, III. 63202.

"Your publishing this will be deeply appreciated in muchneeded support by all people interested in Gay Rights.

"In Gay Struggle, John Gibbs, (86976-132)"

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